Quick Glances ..
I look outside all I can see is the reflection of myself and past that, the pitch dark,the neighbor's back porch light on. Everything seems so unlit. The sun decided to sink into the ground sooner. I feel unaccompanied, quite empty, and disinterested with life in general. It's a brisk winter night, and I'll sit here in my warmest clothes.
Trying to physically feel some warmth, when inside all I feel is cold. I'll sit here listening to the rain, and just reminisce. I'll remember all the mistakes, all the different places, people, feelings, doubts, beliefs, differences . And at the end of my memory journey, I'm still sitting here alone with nothing but the lies I've said, the remorse, and the warm feeling of my body heat contained in my clothes.
Roof Tops
On top of everything else, the light brisks of air blowing against your hair. You see everything so clear, so small & yet so big and in detail. You notice the gigantic sky on top of you. The place you go to relax, to breath, to remember.
You see the now-fading yellow & orange sun lowering behind the top of the pine trees. You see the fresh burning carbon and hydrogen trail behind the jet plane, oh so far away. You hear nothing but yourself breath, and distand murmurs of different objects. You comprehend how summer is almost gone, how the winter cold is near. The bright colored leaves will start darkening. You look all around you, this is really happening. You may think it's no enormous treat, but it is. It's a dream come true to do what your doing. Many people don't get the chance your getting.
You look up to the daylight and all you see is no more sun. You see the half-sized slight glare coming out of the trees, of that warm star. Just like the season. It's close to that time. The sun is now dissapearing, like summertime. You'll have to return to reality. Time to leave this beautiful view, close your book and climb down. And while you start getting up, you see that trail now vanishing. Take an extended clear intake of oxygen and start heading back to the state of things that actually exist. That one, the one without swaying green pine trees, picturesque fading sunsets. You'll have to contain yourself untill tommorow, where you'll get to experience this feeling all over. For one last time, close your eyes and just imagine.
Understand the simple meaning ?
You balance with wind wisping on either side of you. Alone, thinking of everything You've been threw, watching people everyday. Some talking, laughing, arguing, blank. It feels like an underground train station, where everything goes by so fast yet everything looks slow in motion. While you turn to one side people get older, wiser & get more hurt by every single muscle you move. Innocent people standing like if they were waiting for some sort of anything, all you get , all you see are clear stares . Doing what they have to but no choice in doing it. Were all mere puppets in the hands of society. We all try to act, speak and look different but each different move we make makes us look more and more the same. You may say that you are different, but are you really? You can say something but it doesn't mean its true. People don't believe what you say, people believe in what you do. It doesn't mean that what your saying is true, and to that matter you don't even believe in what you say half the time. You can't speak as another person until you've been in there shoes. Without someone to be there with you, you'll be like every other person leaning on that stone pillar. Observing the hands of the clock ticking away. Waiting for that sound, waiting for that moment to come. Waiting to hear the train whistle. Too catch a glimpse of the small light. To feel that cool breeze coming. You keep growing older, at the end were all lost copies of one another, or what we wanted to be, things that we wanted to accomplish. We lean against a pillar that is trying to hold us up from those last seconds that we will be getting. Where we get tired, and slowly falling back, the sides shrinking, the light in your eyes getting smaller & you remember those moments that made your life valuable. You need to enjoy the short circumstances you get, because you may be never be able to get those moments back. You have to remember to keep true to yourself, at the end your the only one standing there. No lovers, no friends, and no family. The only person you can truly trust is yourself.
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